More Life Tips from Aviva Yael

Instead of having feelings, just shove everything way down there til it physically hurts, then numbs. The key to happiness is to be dead inside.

I should write a self-help book called SUCK IT UP and just tell everyone how to stop being miserable. Every time someone hurts you, no matter how petty or cruel, just pretend it never happened until you actually start to believe it never happened.

It's all about pairing the principles of no regrets and delusions of grandeur that has worked for successful sociopaths, con men, and those with Asperger's* for centuries.

My self help book will encourage people to keep being all pretend-y until they actually live that way in their brains. I think you can do it if you learn to anesthetize all feelings, abdicate remorse like you are King Henry, and carry on with your soul-less self until there is nothing bad left to feel.

Good times.

* remember when Asperberger's was trending on Twitter, except it was spelled #assburgers? God that was such a good day.