The Daily Tids
1) Our Golden Girl, Dorothy Zbornak, did the Cha Cha all the way up to heaven yesterday.
One of my biggest displeasures is finding out someone died due to a Facebook status update, but that's how it went down for me yesterday when I saw that the great Beatrice Arthur had passed. She is in heaven where she will reside in an opulent, gay wonderland reserved for national icons, where everyone gets to sing their questions and talk shit about all their friends without consequence. This means of course, that Alesia will have to raise the price of THESE:
RIP Bea, you ol' queen.
2) You guys have seen DRUNK HISTORY right? It's okay if you haven't. It's clearly not your fault. Just means you missed the memo everyone got from the internet about being required to watch it. Anyhow, in the Jack Black episode, the narrator has a theory about how Ben Franklin hated his son and spared his own life by forcing his kid to fly that kite into the lightning storm. Fortunately his son survived, although according to Drunk History, he was a 'huge dick.' I'm kind of hoping there is evidence to back up this theory in these newly discovered and never-before-seen letters. I'm staying tuned to this story.
Just for the record this is my favorite episode of Drunk History:
For my third tid I should probably give some interesting take on the Swine Flu, but I don't know enough about it yet (other than that Masonic Order, the Skull and Bones society, and the Reptilian Anunnaki Remnants who control the government have conspired to wipe out the Poors as part of a larger New World Order). Instead I'll go easy and give you this bullshit:
3) WANT TO DRUNK DIAL YOUR EX?
Why not libate yourself with the best Rape Juice $9.99 can buy:
One of my biggest displeasures is finding out someone died due to a Facebook status update, but that's how it went down for me yesterday when I saw that the great Beatrice Arthur had passed. She is in heaven where she will reside in an opulent, gay wonderland reserved for national icons, where everyone gets to sing their questions and talk shit about all their friends without consequence. This means of course, that Alesia will have to raise the price of THESE:
RIP Bea, you ol' queen.
2) You guys have seen DRUNK HISTORY right? It's okay if you haven't. It's clearly not your fault. Just means you missed the memo everyone got from the internet about being required to watch it. Anyhow, in the Jack Black episode, the narrator has a theory about how Ben Franklin hated his son and spared his own life by forcing his kid to fly that kite into the lightning storm. Fortunately his son survived, although according to Drunk History, he was a 'huge dick.' I'm kind of hoping there is evidence to back up this theory in these newly discovered and never-before-seen letters. I'm staying tuned to this story.
Just for the record this is my favorite episode of Drunk History:
For my third tid I should probably give some interesting take on the Swine Flu, but I don't know enough about it yet (other than that Masonic Order, the Skull and Bones society, and the Reptilian Anunnaki Remnants who control the government have conspired to wipe out the Poors as part of a larger New World Order). Instead I'll go easy and give you this bullshit:
3) WANT TO DRUNK DIAL YOUR EX?
Why not libate yourself with the best Rape Juice $9.99 can buy: